my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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