Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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