Nicole vs. Life
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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