I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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