Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
