I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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