sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How does one acquire holy water?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
