It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
