he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
