Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
