While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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