Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize