if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
