I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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