I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
