I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
