But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
