thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
