I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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