Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
