Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
