So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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