i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
