The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
