How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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