How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
