No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
