I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
