Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
