I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No subtext here. People are naked.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
