I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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