woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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