Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
