lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
