You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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