I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she told me i tasted like america
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
