He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
