I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
