She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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