She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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