So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
