He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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