Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
