Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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