No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
