I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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