whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
