trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
