Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
