What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
