He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
